No Amount

So many maybes

Maybe if I screamed louder 

Maybe if I tried to push him off harder

Maybe if I wasn’t a coward 

So many what ifs

What if I voiced my pain 

What if I had more muscle 

What if I told someone sooner

So many buts 

But I went mute

But my arms were forced to my side

But I was an innocent little girl 

No amount of maybes 

No amount of what ifs 

No amount of buts

Could change the events that I will live with forever 

I will carry the feeling of your hands on my body with me 

Till the day I am buried

Still six feet under

I am a survivor